hellison: (hat)
I don't know why I ever bother making plans, they never actually work out; today was supposed to go Get Up At Reasonable Hour, study, meet friend for lunch, STUDY.

What actually happened - read new book til after 3am, sleep til after 11, have hasty shower, have lunch with friend, come home, fret about Ziggy being out on her first hunt in 2 years, INTERNETS FOREVER.
Studying will happen soon tho. Really. Exam now on thursday I think.

But, just so this isn't yet another dull What I Didn't Do Today post, remember Some Years Back I regaled you with tales of Relationship Advice from Nuns?

It looks like on at least one point, they might have been on to something!

http://www.bartitsu.org/index.php/2010/07/the-sting-of-a-hornet-edwardian-hat-pin-self-defence/



Where can I get that hat??

Moar Nuns!

Dec. 27th, 2007 09:32 pm
hellison: (xmas-t)
Is it Attack of the Giant Nuns? Or are they guarding their tiny sistren?




OH NOES! A fiery ball from HELL has attacked ! Fallen Midget Nuns everywhere! Oh Waily Waily Waily!!





Best. Nuns. Ever!

So. Does the Mystery Benefactor who sent the Tiny Nun Bowling and the calendar wish to declare themselves yet?

PS

Dec. 27th, 2007 03:35 pm
hellison: (OMG leo)
I nearly forgot! When I got home last night, on the FRONT DOOR STEP (thanks, laziest postman EVER, was taking 2 steps to put it at the side of the house out of sight just too difficult?) was a package from Amazon!

Presumably from the same Mystery Benefactor as the Nun Calendar, this one contained a MIDGET NUN BOWLING set. With tiny MIDGET nun skittles! Perfect ;)

Thank you!
hellison: (xmas-t)
I get home (after purchasing much cider, incl. Koppaberg Mixed Fruits, for tomorrow) and at the back door is yet another Mystery Package. From Amazon.

With some trepidation (after all, yesterday's was fine!) I open it. It is calendar shaped, very nicely wrapped, bu with no name on the gift card. Now I REALLY start to worry.

Slowly and somewhat nervously undoing the wrapping, I pull it out to find what may be the Best Calendaer EVER - NUNS HAVING FUN.

The Kickboxing nun is my favourite! I may even scan her (now I have amazing technopowars) for your delight and delectation.

I love it! Many thanks, O Mystery Benefactor ;)

Nuns! Reverse! )
hellison: (hat)
For [livejournal.com profile] being_here, who is Poorly and needs cheering up...

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I went to work an on excavation in a village near Sligo (a story in itself with the Disco Bus, Mr Perry Who Owned Everything and the pub that stopped for Fr. Ted).

We were excavating the drawbridge pit of a C14th castle, prior to restoration works and eventual opening to the public.
The land had been originally owned by a convent and at some point the nuns had handed the bit with the castle on over to the OPW (mexican equivalent of the DOE), while they still lived next door.

There were 4 of us on the dig - myself & C, the director, also convent educated, and the 2 lads, P, a staunch northern Presbyterian and R. a D4 prod, CofI possibly... anyway, neither of them had ever had any real contact with nuns and couldn't understand why C & myself were so twitchy about them [1].

Occasionally while we were working, one would wander up and ask the usual questions about what we were doing, what had we found etc, as people do.

One day C. was standing out on the front wall, drawing the cobbles or something equally fascinating, when an ancient little nun - with veil, so obviously too old to even consider stealth-nunning - hobbled up and asked how it was going, had we found any gold yet (stabworthy in itself) and as C. launched into the usual spiel suddenly interrupted with

"God forgive give me but I've often wished the IRA would come and blow this fecking thing up!"

C. rather derailed from her spiel, stared, while she continued
"Fecking Anglo-Normans, coming and building fecking castles on OUR land! Should be blown to smithereens! Anyway, good luck to ye now! Cheerio!".
And off she hobbled again, leaving C. to come running into the rest of, white of face and babbling "The nuns! The nuns want to blow up the castle!".

Thus proving that not only are nuns Evil, they really do know how to hold a grudge.


[1] Especially since they were the new STEALTH nuns who went about without veils on so they could sneak up behind you in shop queues and you WOULDN'T KNOW until you got a good look at the hair (always a giveaway) and shoes. And then it could be too late.
hellison: (hat)
When we were in ... 3rd year I think, we got sent to Sr. Benedict, who was a quiet wee nun with no eyebrows, not long retired from many years of nunning out in Africa, for Education In Personal Relationships.
This mostly involved Sr. B., showing us her Book with Diagrams of the Reproductive Organs. She used to flick VERY QUICKLY past the male page, presumably lest we be corrupted by the drawings

She also had to give us Advice on Dealing with Boys, but, given her decades abroad, she was a bit out of touch there. Her main three points were -

1. If you MUST sit on a boy's knee, put a Telephone directory down first.
Where one was meant to procure this from at short notice, I'm not sure, but she was a big one for Planning Ahead. Which leads to ...

2. Always Carry A Hat Pin.
Thus, if despite the safety barrier of the phone book, the Young Man gets "Upset" (we *think* she meant Aroused here), you can Defend Yourself. I always reckoned he'd be a hell of a lot more Upset AFTER being stabbed with a hat pin than before...

and

3. Never wear Black Patent shoes with a Skirt
because boys can look at your feet and see what colour your knickers are! I have, in the intervening years, yet to come across a boy who had ever heard of this.


Tho these pale somewhat against the excellence of the advice [livejournal.com profile] thesme_01 was given when about to go to university. Which was

4. If the Lights go out at Party (which Evil Boys will organise by not putting their shillings in the meter!), jump on the nearest table and yell "I'm a Catholic, nobody Touch me!"

I would have LOVED to have seen that one in action...

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