I don't *think* I play the 'oh i look awful/ no you don't' game so much, but I know a lot of women who do and I'm sure I have done it before!
But you would know, and automatically kick into, your expected role in the ritual if one of your friends said how terrible they were looking, wouldn't you? And you would feel quite mortified if, after taking the one-down position by saying how bad you looked/were at something your friend just agreed (not jokingly agreed, just flat agreed that you sucked). You'd be expecting them to bring you back up with their reply. We tend to call it fishing for compliments, but it is very ritualistic behaviour among women. :)
I think I'm going to use my research book voucher (when I get it) to buy one of Tannen's books. She's fab. ;)
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I think I need to add the *generally* tag again. Please, no one get offended or tell me you don't do this and how so and so male you know does it. When talking about people it's really only possible to speak in general terms. ;)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2005-12-03 07:23 am (UTC)But you would know, and automatically kick into, your expected role in the ritual if one of your friends said how terrible they were looking, wouldn't you? And you would feel quite mortified if, after taking the one-down position by saying how bad you looked/were at something your friend just agreed (not jokingly agreed, just flat agreed that you sucked). You'd be expecting them to bring you back up with their reply. We tend to call it fishing for compliments, but it is very ritualistic behaviour among women. :)
I think I'm going to use my research book voucher (when I get it) to buy one of Tannen's books. She's fab. ;)
--
I think I need to add the *generally* tag again. Please, no one get offended or tell me you don't do this and how so and so male you know does it. When talking about people it's really only possible to speak in general terms. ;)