We have been studying this in English Language! ;)
According to Deborah Tannen this sort of behaviour is common amongst women because of their social interaction goals. When women talk it is mainly to build bridges, form bonds and make sure everyone is happy (mostly, there are exceptions, yes there are mean women, blah blah). Part of doing this is ensuring that everyone feels comfortable. If you boast about your achievements then you may make others feel uncomfortable, which goes against the 'rapport talk', female style.
In a research piece conducted by H.M. Leet-Pellegrini he had pairings of people (m-m, f-f, m-f) discuss the issue of television violence on children. In some experiments he armed one of the pair with knowledge, and the time to absorb that knowledge, so as to make them 'the expert'.
In cases where the woman was 'the expert' and the man wasn't, she supported the man's position more than 'normal' (ie in m-m groupings or f-f groupings). The woman didn't want to display her knowledge in many cases, and would even down-play it.
This, according to Leet-Pelligrini is because women, when speaking, play a game of "have I been sufficiently helpful?" or "do you like me?" as opposed to the man's game of "have I won?" or "do you respect me?"
In the 70's this difference in style was termed "the deficit framework", because it was believed that the way men used language was superior. Now we call it "the difference framework", accepting that there are differences, but that the differences aren't a negative thing. ;)
Tannen even says that women will ritualistically degrade themselves in the knowledge that their female friends will play their ritualistic role of bringing them back up. E.G. Woman "My hair looks terrible." Friend "No it doesn't, it's fine."
Deborah Tannen (I <3 Tannen) also goes on to explain that women generally act as if they don't want authority, so that if/when they are not offered it they don't look foolish in front of others. She relates this to her own experiences as a world famous linguist. She often gets invited to speak on language and if invited onto a radio program will speak confidently. However, she wont just call into a station, even if the topic is something she is an expert in. She believes this is because in the first instance, she is a guest and her authority is supported and respected by those around her. In the second case she would either have to introduce herself and seem big headed (and run the risk of not being recognised) or she can simply state her opinion as a regular Joe and have it rejected because they don't recognise her authority on the matter. :)
Sorry to use your comments page as a revision tool, but I find this stuff quite fascinating. ;)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2005-12-03 02:27 am (UTC)According to Deborah Tannen this sort of behaviour is common amongst women because of their social interaction goals. When women talk it is mainly to build bridges, form bonds and make sure everyone is happy (mostly, there are exceptions, yes there are mean women, blah blah). Part of doing this is ensuring that everyone feels comfortable. If you boast about your achievements then you may make others feel uncomfortable, which goes against the 'rapport talk', female style.
In a research piece conducted by H.M. Leet-Pellegrini he had pairings of people (m-m, f-f, m-f) discuss the issue of television violence on children. In some experiments he armed one of the pair with knowledge, and the time to absorb that knowledge, so as to make them 'the expert'.
In cases where the woman was 'the expert' and the man wasn't, she supported the man's position more than 'normal' (ie in m-m groupings or f-f groupings). The woman didn't want to display her knowledge in many cases, and would even down-play it.
This, according to Leet-Pelligrini is because women, when speaking, play a game of "have I been sufficiently helpful?" or "do you like me?" as opposed to the man's game of "have I won?" or "do you respect me?"
In the 70's this difference in style was termed "the deficit framework", because it was believed that the way men used language was superior. Now we call it "the difference framework", accepting that there are differences, but that the differences aren't a negative thing. ;)
Tannen even says that women will ritualistically degrade themselves in the knowledge that their female friends will play their ritualistic role of bringing them back up. E.G. Woman "My hair looks terrible." Friend "No it doesn't, it's fine."
Deborah Tannen (I <3 Tannen) also goes on to explain that women generally act as if they don't want authority, so that if/when they are not offered it they don't look foolish in front of others. She relates this to her own experiences as a world famous linguist. She often gets invited to speak on language and if invited onto a radio program will speak confidently. However, she wont just call into a station, even if the topic is something she is an expert in. She believes this is because in the first instance, she is a guest and her authority is supported and respected by those around her. In the second case she would either have to introduce herself and seem big headed (and run the risk of not being recognised) or she can simply state her opinion as a regular Joe and have it rejected because they don't recognise her authority on the matter. :)
Sorry to use your comments page as a revision tool, but I find this stuff quite fascinating. ;)