Boasting or Pride

[hellison]

Something I've been thinking about for a bit now, that for some reason surfaced tonight.

Where is the line between pride in your achievements and abilities and 'boasting'? And why is boasting seen as such a bad thing?
I constantly run down my own acheivements and acomplishments.
I am *terrible* at accepting genuine compliments/praise for what I've done. They make me very uncomfortable and I instantly try to play down whatever it is I'm being complimented on.

Theorising here, it's partly being British (terribly sorry old chap, didn't mean to be better than you at something/ I ain't one for puttin' meself forward), partly being Irish (sure we're no good at anything, where's me pint?) and partly inflicted Irish Mother Syndrome (can't be showin' up the menfolk!).
That last one may be a general girl thing, I can only speak for myself.
I've always been taught not to brag, not to show off, not to flaunt achievements, accomplishments or wealth.
But WHY? If I'm good at something, why shouldn't I be able to say so, without adding some sort of deprecating rider along the lines of 'oh it was lucky, sure anyone could do it, you'd be even better at it, it's not that hard, I made lots of mistakes you didn't notice... and so on.

Never mentioning how much I earn, or how well I've done something, having to play down doing well in my degree because my brother didn't do as well (but then HIS degree was electrical engineering, mine was only archaeology, so it evens out really...) and then my then-boyfriend (really tho, he just wasn't that smart, so I just never mentioned my result). And yes, I AM still somewhat bitter about that.

Actually I know what set this off. In the off-licence tonight, buying a bottle of v. nice champers just because I felt like it, but in my head automatically forming an excuse in case I was asked what it was for.
After all I couldn't POSSIBLY say I was spending £30 on it just because I felt like it!

But why not? Why shouldn't I be proud of the fact that I do this because I can afford it because I EARNED it? Why should I feel guilty and cover it up?


So. Just this once, I am going to list the things I can do, and do well, with no riders, no excuses, no derogatory comments.



I am good at my job.
I got a 2:1 in my degree without having to slog my guts out or even stop going to the bar.
I help run a company that started out with just the 3 of us and now has 11 more employees with more on the way.
I earn a good salary, with profits from the company on top of that.
I have paid enough off my mortgage that it's now standing at about half of what my house is actually worth.
I can afford to go to Canada next week and, if I had enough leave (and someone to look after the animals) I could still afford to go to Sydney again next month.
I can afford to buy a bottle of very nice champagne for no other reason than I like it.
I can open and pour a bottle of champagne without either blinding someone with the cork or wasting half the bottle Formula One Style.
I can do all this and still have a healthy savings account.

I can drive a car
I can drive a bus
I passed the test for both of these first time.
I can jump-start a car.
I can check fuel, oil, water and tyre pressure levels on a car and bus and replenish as needed.

I can use a power drill.
I can put up shelves.
I can use a lawn mower and strimmer.
I can use a mattock and a long-tailed shovel (it's all leverage).

I can feed, groom, tack up, muck out and generally look after and handle a horse.
I can ride a horse.
I can get my obstreperous 16'2hh hunter to do what I want, when I want, most of the time.
I know what obstreperous means and how to spell it ;p

I don't have children of my own, but I am capable - and confident - enough with even young babies that my siblings and friends will entrust their children to me, not just for a couple of hours, but for a couple of days.

When I became a creator on the mud - http://discworld.atuin.net - I learnt to code from scratch - and from Drakkos's handbook and other creators (hi dasquian)
I created areas and objects in the game that not only worked, but people use and enjoy.
I created a monkey that can recite haiku's and wee on command (still one of my favourite things :p)
Non-creatorly, I can stab, mock, vine, bee and kill things with my BRAIN.

I can make pancakes.
I can make a decent cup of tea!


Some of these things I've done by myself, some I've done with the help of others, but all of them I'm damn proud of and I'm fed up of playing them down and pretending I'm not. So just this once, I'm not!

Give it a go, it feels damn good. There are plenty of things you can do and do well!
This post was sponsered by Pol Rogers Champange :p

Comments

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

Here I am trying to type a coherent post and I've dropped tuna sandwich all down my bosom %$^$^%£

I was thinking about why it is so hard to talk about the things you're good out without apologising profusely and undermining everything. For me, i think it's because I'm terrified that
a) i'll be contradicted and therefore find out the awful truth that in fact I am crap and have only been fooling myself all these years
OR
b) I won't be contradicted to my face but people will be sniggering behind my back about what a self-deluded fool I am
OR
c) People will think I'm big cow who thinks I'm great.

'Thinks she's great' - that's an interesting insult, what's wrong with thinking you're great? In Ireland, anyway, it's a total no-no. It's been so engrained in us that anyone who simply says what they are good at causes total confusion and fear amongst the audience who have no idea how to respond. Sometimes the result is muttering and shuffling of feet, sometimes a direct attack. But the question is, how did it come about that this became such a strong element of our culture? (Hey all UK people am aware that similar things have been said of youse but don't want to make pronouncements about UK culture - let me know if things are different or same and why you think it is)

GO HELEN GO HELEN GO HELEN GO HELEN

PS - has anyone taken her advice yet and done a similar post? I haven't because I am a big chicken buck buck

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Yep, C is my main problem and it pisses me off - see response to Malvino above - why SHOULDN'T we be able to say I am Good at This without being knocked down, apologising or seen as arrogant?
Why are we so unable to say it without qualifiers (but not as good as you, only on a good day, sure anyone could do it...)?

Also of course with A & B thrown in ;p

A few others have done them, littlebluefish, kelemvor, sleetersoulfire, mirrorshard that I can recall off the top of my head. So go do one!
Get drunk first, it helps (tho I think for me thats because I turn into me da when I'm pissed and he was never backward about coming forward!).

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

aha! Well, if I recall when you get drunk you break into other people's bedrooms and sit on them and talk and talk and fall on to the floor and get back up and talk some more and ask them are they asleep and wake them up if they are to talk to them, which is actually very cute and funny, BUT:
It doesn't normally consist of you telling people what you like about yourself, you're normally worrying about the person that you're sitting on....

Might do one, but, er, the only opportunity I have to do it is in work (LIKE< NO!) or at home and will have to wait for a while, because the Roo may wonder when he gets home why I am pished out of my face and shouting at the computer. Or, thinking about it, maybe not..erk..

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

right right done it right
*STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED*

[hellison.livejournal.com]

See that whole breaking in, sitting on the bed and rambling? Totally me da ;p He used to do it to us all the time.

Sometimes he'd even sing ;)

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

Aha, I remember you telling me - the singing!
But my main point is you'd normally be worrying drunkenly about the person in the bed, rather than yourself if you know worrimean