(no subject)

[hellison]

At the risk of opening the can of messy worms that posts about rape always seem to, this quote this morning, tagged on the end of a brief news report just made me twitch -
The attack was condemned by local politicians who urged women to look out for each other during the current party season
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/4551200.stm

Because of course
a. You can't trust ANY men to look out for you
b. It's entirely the responsibility of women to make sure you're safe.

Yes, it is good that they are concerned, it is good advice in its way and yes, I may well be reading too much into it, but that's just how it struck me.
I'm not sure if it's the implication that you can't trust/rely on men or that it's all down to women too look out for each other because it's our responsibility to make sure we are safe, not men's responsibility to have some self control/respect for women that bothers me more.
Why aren't they urging men not to be rapists in the first place?

Hmm. I was going to say I've obviously been lucky with the men I know/have met, but surely it's not 'luck' that my male friends aren't rapists and that I can trust them fully? Surely that's NORMAL?

Comments

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Well obviously we can't be let out safely on our OWN! Dear gods, you'd think we were rational adult creatures with brains or something, not just toddlers with breasts...

I'm not sure what I'd like the message to be either. But *something* aimed at men, perhaps hinting that they might bear some responsibility might be nice.

[whit-merule.livejournal.com]

Well, no.

Because obviously all men who'd commit rape are monstrous creatures outside the bounds of society, therefore not human, therefore animals. And everyone knows animals don't read the news. So there's not a lot of point in targetting them.

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't necessarily go along with that, tempting though it may be. Sadly, rapists are humans. Who often feel rage and impotence. Rape is often about the abuse of power and the need to control - the victim is dehumanised and is made to represent something or someone else - almost becomes a symbol of whatever the perpetrator feels rage against. This is not a justification of rape, it's just to say that if we remove the humanity from perpetrators we run the risk of utterly failing to engage with the reasons why rape occurs and therefore fail to deal with the problem in a meaningful and effective way. It's bloody goddamn difficult though

[whit-merule.livejournal.com]

That's what I meant. :P I was being sarcastic about the tendecny of TEH MEDIA to deny the humanity of 'them', whoever 'them' may be - obviously they are never going to be the people reading this newspaper.

my sarcasm clearly needs some work!

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

Whooooops!

Or Thesme needs a brane transplant ;)

[tyrell.livejournal.com]

I don't understand the widespread occurrence of rape. I don't know what it is in men that makes it so common. I can almost see why it's always been such an acceptable and expected practice in war, or warrior societies in the modern world, because you hate your enemy and by defeating them thoroughly you are winning the territory/food/women for yourself.

But that's historically. I can only assume that somewhere back in genetics it became beneficial for men to have a rape impulse. Regardless, they've still got it.

I think the ad campaigns just assume you can't change rapists, putting them in the same category as paedophiles. They also assume it's widespread (it is) and that the only reaction is to protect the women (I'd argue "By giving them axes", but that's just me).

Men know they bear the responsibility. Telling them "hey - don't go rapin' now..." isn't going to stop the ones who will. Better to arm educate the women as to safe behaviours.

[reuss.livejournal.com]

I guess it depends on what you define as "responsibility". I think we do bear the responsibility for not stabbing people in the face, inasmuchas we decide not to do it.

[tyrell.livejournal.com]

Sorry, should have been clearer. Was answering the line "something aimed at men indicating they bear responsibility" (instead of only advertising to women).

Should have read: "Rapists know they bear the responsibility" for actions they took.

But yes, as a man who hangs around with entirely too many feminist groups, I do get sick of people assuming "all men have it in them" or "it's only ever men who rape, because they're built that way and women need protecting from them". Bollocks. Sexual and domestic abuse are *very common* but generalities never apply.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

I do think the point needs to be made more often that rapist is NOT the default setting in men, and those that do commit rape aren't just 'being men', they're being criminals and the *exception*, in the same way that muggers, theives, murders etc are.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

You make a good point (along with heliotic below). The men likely to listen to that aren't the ones who would commit rape in the first place.
Also it would probably lend more to the 'all men are potential rapists' and 'they can't help themselves' claims, which both really bug me too.

Axes would be good tho. Or knives. I'm starting to think the nuns may have been onto something when they told us to always carry a hatpin.

[reuss.livejournal.com]

Indeed. The sentence should still be re-written as urging people to look out for each other in the party season.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Yes, that was the point I was aiming at, but didn't manage to express quite so well!