How to trap a man like wild game and mount his head on the wall /get married

[hellison]

Discussions elsewhere led to talk of the Rules for dating. I remembered some of this from various media fuss a few years back but thought I'd go refresh my memory. and O.M.G.
http://www.therulesbook.com/
Do people expect this crap to work? Does any woman actually WANT a guy who falls for this crap?

Here they are... In summary at least. Apparently tehre are at least 3 books you have to buy to get the full set.



1. Be a "creature unlike any other." - helo I am a UNICORN *prance prance*. That'd work down the pub.
2. Don't talk to a man first (and don't ask him to dance) - Basically, sit down, shut up and Know Your Place.
3. Don't meet him halfway or go dutch with him on a date. Because all men want is more dependants to make them feel Manly and needed?
4. Don't call him and rarely return his phone calls. Well I can see "don't call 3 times a day for weeks after you first meet' (hi mivvvv) but surely if you never bothered, he'd just give up? And isn't not return calls just plain rude?
5. Always end phone calls first. huh? WHY? WHY?
6. Don't accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday. "Why I'm terribly sorry sir, my Dance Card is full" Nope. Sit at home bored and lonely but secure in the knowledge he's off out having fun with a girl with SENSE.
7. Always end the date first. again WHY? and how? bugger off half way through dinner? Watch his every move for signs he may be Ending The Date and scram?
8. Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentines day. Yes, because you don't want a companion, you just want PRESENTS. Buy Me Pretty things or NO SEX FOR YOU!
9. Don't see him more than once or twice a week. because keeping up this false facade is bloody difficult and since that's what he's presumably meant to be falling for we can't risk him discovering the Real You!
10. No more than casual kissing on the first date. What exactly constitues casual kissing? And how do you a. tell and b. stop it when it becomes more business like?
11. Don't tell him what to do. Back to Woman, KNOW YOUR PLACE I fear.
12. Don't expect a man to change or try to change him. well.. this one isn't so bad. Because if you dont' like him the way he is now, why bother? Instead of trying to make this one into that one, just go get that one!
13. Don't open up too fast. Um. I'm guessing they mean emotionally here. No Sobbing on a First Date Girls. Now I know where I've gone wrong all these years!
14. Don't date a married man. Again, they may be going with the slightly too obvious here. Are there any Rules for People With IQs Above 60? or are they just assuming girls=teh dumb?
15. Be easy to live with. WKYP yet again.
16. Don't stare at men or talk too much. WTF? Seriously WTF? NO LOOKING. Only Speak When Spoken to! CF 15, 11 & 2
17. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment). Because if you do he'll never marry you! Remember luring him into MARRIAGE under false pretenses is what we're all about here! See http://www.therulesbook.com/rule8.html for further clarification of this.
18.Even if you're engaged or married, you still need the rules. You mean once he's snared I can't drop the pretense? Fuck.
19. Do the Rules even when your friends or parents think you're nuts! I think that one says it all really.
20 Be Smart and other rules for dating in high school.
21 Take Care of yourself and other Rules for dating in college. I'm assuming this and 20 are Other Books you have to buy.
22 Next! And other Rules for dealing with Rejection. I'm assuming this, 20 & 21 are Other Books you have to buy. BUT surely if I follow The Rules I will never be rejected because all men REALLY want a stepford wife?
23 Don't discuss the Rules with your therapist. because s/he might actually talk some sense in you and tell you to grow up and act like an Actual Person not a barbie doll.
24Don't break the Rules. You'll get seven years back luck and die alone and be eaten by alasations!!1!1!1!!
25Do the Rules and you'll live happily ever after. Just like Snow White and Cinderella and all those other fairy tale princesses who's fairy tales ended the second they got married. Probably in more ways than one.
26Love only those who love you. I think this trite piece of meaningless self-help clap trap just about rounds it all off nicely



*boggles*

Is this some sort of American thing I don't get? Do you really have to be a Stepford Wife out there to trap get your man? Because nothing says Love like completely surpressing your personality!
Actually I'm fairly sure it's a complete load of bollocks and crap like this is why people assume all single women are desperate predators out stalking for fresh meat to drag back to the cage.
Are there any guys out there this WOULD work on (other than malvino Ladies, we have a target!)?

Comments

[being-here.livejournal.com]

This sort of thing is urging me on a mad killing spree (please note, TeH rUlz say nothing about the inadvisability of mad killing sprees).

Good god! Why bother treating people with respect when you can emotionally cripple yourself, entrap a poor innocent and basically screw up everything and everyone so much that the only survivors will be ants, cockroaches and psychotherapists?

*incoherent rage*

[hellison.livejournal.com]

What baffles me is not just that people think it works but that it COULD work at all.

[malvino.livejournal.com]

Someone following thsoe rules would completely fail to get me, unless they were female, or attractive.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

You're just easy :p

[hellison.livejournal.com]

ps on a totally different note, was it you that had the link to that duck tour of london (the boat/bus thing)? If so, do you still have it?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

my sister OWNS THIS BOOK. i think she realised it was rubbish after purchasing it. i skimmed it and then near threw it across the room.

the most useful quote i found was along the lines of: do you really want a man who you have to lure with bait, play and reel in? wouldn't that be a bit like going out with an, um, fish. (not that i'm knocking fishing; i have done some fishing and i enjoyed it plenty. i just don't think it teaches skills taht should be applied to one's personal life)

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Heh that about sums up how I'd feel about it.
I don't think I'd want a man who wants the kind of woman you have to pretend to be to snare him anyway. Um. If you see what I mean there ;p

[(Anonymous)]

My favourite is 23. It pretty much tells you how lunatic you'd have to be to think the rules are worth following. "For the love of God, don't tell your therapist! THEY WILL DISAGREE" ;p

And I think Rule 16 and the other WKYP rules rule me out of the hypothetical group of men the rules work on - how the hell are you supposed to go out with someone who won't talk about themselves? I guess it's rules like this that were the inspiration for characters like Bree from Desperate Housewives ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

i do like the assumption that you have a therapist. they are marketing this book to people having problems with self esteem etc.

cunning!

[dasquian.livejournal.com]

STOP LOGGING ME OUT LIVEJOURNAL >:(((

Yeah, that was me again ;p

[mivvvv.livejournal.com]

Hang on why do I get a mention in there?

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Because you were convinced that poor woman who rang you twice was a stalker ;p

Obviously she needs The RULEZ

[leeda.livejournal.com]

I am never going to get a date now, I am renowned for staring at men :(

[being-here.livejournal.com]

Meh. I was renowned for getting drunk and singing happy songs, and I got married. There's hope for anyone really.

[vashti.livejournal.com]

Hm, so these are the famous Rules.

...

They're a bit crap really, aren't they?

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Just a bit :p

You could pretty much replace all of them with Sit down, Shut up and Know Your Place.

[tyrell.livejournal.com]

Okay, that's fucked up.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Why yes it is. Would you like to tell me more all about your opinions, because I have none of my own?

I like Kittens.

[mollow.livejournal.com]

- Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentines day. - Haha I love this one. Although my problem would be trying to remember the birthday date in the first place

-Don't expect a man to change or try to change him. - I agree 100% with this. I will NEVER like onions or garlic so stop trying to sneak it into my food!!!!!

- Don't tell him what to do - I.e. Don't Nag. Again a sound piece of advice.

- Be easy to live with - Definately. To ensure this you should go away to some sort of commune when it's that certain time of the month.

- Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment) - Very true. My room used to be so tidy. Alas now it has various bottles of things and strange torture like equipment designed to pluck eyebrows

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

but there are onions in so many kinds of food. what do you EAT?

p.s. i am now hearing harry enfield doing 'Women, Know Your Place' educational films.

[dreammonkey.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!
Each and every one is a priceless piece of comedic genius!

Almost as good as Teh Druid Rant :)

[hellison.livejournal.com]

*grins* It may even top it ;p If we actually do Getafix meet, we will be able to hone Teh Druid Rant to precision!

Hmm. I need my Knowth spirally stone icon back again.

[sleetersoulfire.livejournal.com]

From the blurb for rule three:
"How can you know for sure? If he's never asked you out, then he's not interested!

Right... because Men aren't ever shy, or nervous?

From rule eight:
"If you've followed The Rules, your man probably loves you and wants to marry you. Your problem is not if he marries you, but when! If it's been more than a year, see less of him and think about dating others. You've already spent more than a year waiting for him to propose; do you have another year to wait?"

... WTF?

Seriously, do people who are vacuous enough to listen to this trip only live for three years? Can they not spare more than two years to ensure their Man is right for them?

From rule nine:
"Is he cheap on dates?"

Don't go for poor people! They are Mr Wrongs, all of them!

Also from nine:
"It's about marrying your own personal Mr. Right -- a man whom you love and whose character you admire and can live with."

If he doesn't spend enough on you then he can't be Mr Right. Only people who are frivolous with their money are good people!

Or in other words: Be good little consumers, and Women Know Your Limits!

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Because the whole point is to snare some poor dupe into WEDLOCK thus ensuring your life of being paid for and treated like a brainless doll for EVAR.

So if he hasn't propose within a year, you must MOVE on because you are wasting precious man-trapping time, getting older by the second and that clock is TICKING.
Plus, he might be poor and then you've totally wasted your time.

[vashti.livejournal.com]

I like embroidery and kittens. And feminism.

[vashti.livejournal.com]

If this has been posted umpteen times, it's because LJ is shit tonight. It took me ten minutes just to see this.

(plainly this is because I'm incapable of dealing with any technology more complicated than a lipstick. *flutters*)

[mirrorshard.livejournal.com]

Hey, these Rules are really useful and a good thing.

It gives us an instant method of identifying and therefore avoiding women stupid enough to fall for schemes like this.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

*grins* So THATS what they're for. Good to know ;p

[repton-infinity.livejournal.com]

While I was waiting for a burger recently, I read half a review in a magazine of The Game. For the Rules for the other team :-/

[hellison.livejournal.com]

What did they involve then? Were they as complete a load of tripe as this lot or was it just 'flee any crazy bitch using the rules?'

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

Number 23 is pure fucking evil
So is number 24, actually
and 25 ]
emm hold on til I go back to the beginning

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

I AM a creature unlike any other!

Go Me!

(It didn't say what kind of creature, after all/...)

[hellison.livejournal.com]

That is certainly very true ;p

[kanaalzahir.livejournal.com]

Oh. Dear. God. It's a good thing I already landed a MAN, otherwise I'd be A Hopelessly Lost Cause. Not only do I TALK, I tend to bully people around, even MALES! :(

[hellison.livejournal.com]

But but... if you didn't follow THE RULEZ however did you manage to get a MAN?? That shouldn't work at all! Why that would suggest men might not all be exactly alike AND that they don't all want brainless trophy wives to spend all their monies on!

Next you'll be telling me you actually have your own opinions and surely that is FATAL to one's chances of entrapping a Husband?