hellison: (arse piglets)
[personal profile] hellison
In response to various proddings, I shall update with details of my very exciting life
*flees from Thesme's poking*.

The weekend was a bit hectic and consisted mostly of driving between The Mother's current house and packing/wrapping/taking down curtains and The Mother's New House and cleaning/moving large items of furniture/putting up curtains, then driving back to Belfast to take care of the Livestock in the fucking FREEZING rain and wind, then back down home to repeat as above.

Sunday was a particularly fun day.

Having sat up with Sister, Mother and wine til Too Late Sat. night, was awakened at 7 by Small Nephew, then after shuffling about zombiefied for a bit with tea, went round to New House to clear up the building site left by the Uncle (who, to be fair, was there til 8pm sat. night to finish the new kitchen).
This mostly involved shifting left-over cupboards and random bits of wood to the garage, and the all important Gathering Up of Spare Nails/Screws/Random Bits That Look Like Nothing But Turn Out To Be Vital If You Throw Them Out, all amid an inch thick layer of sawdust. Then brushing most of said sawdust up, cleaning cupboards, wiping work tops, discovering more sawdust settling, wiping work tops again etc.
Also figuring out logistics of moving large new table from livingroom to kitchen through 2 doorways that were a bit too close together, with Sister who is even more challenged in the Spacial Awareness Department than me. That was fun, but we got there in the end. And wiped down the work tops again.

After that, took sawdust-covered self off to the stables where, handily, the copious rain ensured the dust stuck to me, along with mud and shavings from stables and hay. Trying to catch horse while getting rained on and almost blown over by very strong winds was actually quite invigorating and possibly the best part of the day.

Eventually got home, cold, tired, wet and plastered in dust and mud.
Figured Long Hot Bath was the way forward.
Ran bath. Bath not hot enough (woe)
So decided to let some of water out and put immersion on to heat water and traipsed down stairs to do so. While in kitchen, noticed Ominous Dripping Sound. With sinking heart, grabbed bucket from under sink (since it works now) and fled to living room to discover that, once more, the bathroom had decided the best route to release water was through the living room ceiling.
Muttered resignedly and then decided that since it didn't seem a huge leak, and the bath was nearly full anyway, I might as well go have one. That part was very nice, hot, relaxing and dust/mud removing.
Then, eventually, I had to Abandon Bath and let the water out. As I headed back downstairs the Ominous Dripping had been replaced by what sounded more like a Waterfall of Disaster. In the livingroom, thankfully flowing freely into the bucket proved, there is indeed a very pretty Waterful.
As I congratulated myself on Cunning Bucket Placement Technique when I realised there was also a background dripping going on. For quite a few feet back along the ceiling from the waterfall.
Hastily deploy Towels of (hopeful) Water Soakage and even more hastily, check water reaching floor is not seeping towards anything electrical.
Ponder wisdom of phoning plumber on a sunday night, but then waterfall slowly ceases as bath water runs out so decide it's not worth it.
Find small amount of Illegal Substance discovered stashed away while clearing out at home (possibly the brother's, but who knows now?). Collapse on sofa, skin up and adopt very Mature and Grown-up Attitude of Fuck It All Anyway.
Now have number of that most rare thing - a reliable plumber - so am off to phone him and beg for early visit, so I don't stink out entire office by the weekend.


Also, thanks in part to the ever lovely Thesme, I have been humming Christmas Carols for Zombies all morning. So lets all sing along!


Deck the halls with brains aplenty,
Fa la la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM braaainz.
Tis the season to be zombied,
Fa la la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM braaainz

Don we now our ragg'd apparel,
Fa la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM NOM NOM braaaainz
Moan the zombie deathtide carol,
Fa la la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM braaaaaainz

See the tasty braaains before us
Fa la la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM braaainz
Strike the heads and split the skulls up.
Fa la la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM braaainz

Follow me in lurching terror,
Fa la la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM braaainz
While I moan of Death tide horror,
Fa la la la la, ARRHHH NOM NOM braaainz

Date: 2006-11-22 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/
plumber's number for sharing? still have radiator to fix, reconsidering doing by own self.

more cheerful singing please. i have MORE GERMS, very little sleep and a never-ending period.

Date: 2006-11-22 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
I will compose Art for you
also woe my roofers are evil

Also please note that Thesme is lovely, and not crusty. THX.

unlike hellison's sofa

Date: 2006-11-22 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellison.livejournal.com
Heh I shall email. Apparently he has become Plumber to the Archaeologists lately, as his number is reverently passed on.

Date: 2006-11-23 09:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
24 hours later

HAHAHAHA A PUNE! A PUNE OR PLAY ON WORDS!! AHAHAHA 'PLUMBER' TO THE ARCHAEOLOGISTS AHAHAHA

Date: 2006-11-23 10:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellison.livejournal.com
oookay

*steps slowly away from thesme*

Date: 2006-11-23 10:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
don't you get it

PLUMB !! see??

Date: 2006-11-22 02:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
Woe my boss is lurking but I managed to get the first verse:

The Canadian Arctic is a beautiful place
So full of ice and snow and gay Canadian actors having sex wide open space
Where naked gay Canadian actors mooses cavort, their penii antlers erect
Steaming and huffing, their flanks sweaty flecked.

Date: 2006-11-22 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/
not enough gay canadian actors!

Date: 2006-11-22 04:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
ok FINE I'll squeeze a few more in later on then

really. Some people...

Date: 2006-11-22 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
snurf snurf snurtle

Date: 2006-11-22 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kimkali.livejournal.com
You write all that and I get excited by an Audrey Hepburn icon...
I don't have one... but I do have this "Eliza" icon....

Date: 2006-11-22 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellison.livejournal.com
Heh i think I need to redo it with a clearer picture of Audrey ;)
It was inspired by [livejournal.com profile] fragglechick singing aaaarrrse piiiglets to the tune of Moon River ...

Date: 2006-11-22 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kimkali.livejournal.com
Of course that is now on BrainRadio...

Date: 2006-11-22 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
The words are here

Date: 2006-11-22 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] being-here.livejournal.com
I got in trouble for singing that at work today as I walked into an office that contained my MD

Date: 2006-11-23 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
What did he say to you?

Date: 2006-11-22 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
have you rung the plumber? hope he's better than my bloody ROOFER WANKFUCKS

Date: 2006-11-22 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellison.livejournal.com
I have but there's been no answer yet.

I am worried I may also need roofers as the Bane of My Life (the windowcleaner) keeps telling me about slates he's put back on and wanting an extra fiver.

Date: 2006-11-22 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
DO NOT LET THE ROOFERS NEAR YOU

FOR THEY DO NOT WORK IN RAIN OR WIND

IN IRELAND.
IN NO VE M B ER.
From: [identity profile] glassstrider.livejournal.com
Twelve Days of The Rise
By Daniel Davis
From here.


On the first day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
A zombie in a pear tree.

On the second day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the third day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Six zombie crows,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Seven lone Survivors,
Six zombie crows,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Eight oozing creatures,
Seven lone Survivors,
Six zombie crows,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Nine ghostly specters,
Eight oozing creatures,
Seven lone Survivors,
Six zombie crows,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Ten undead bikers,
Nine ghostly specters,
Eight oozing creatures,
Seven lone Survivors,
Six zombie crows,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Eleven disembowlings,
Ten undead bikers,
Nine ghostly specters,
Eight oozing creatures,
Seven lone Survivors,
Six zombie crows,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of The Rise the horrors I did see,
Twelve humans turning,
Eleven disembowlings,
Ten undead bikers,
Nine ghostly specters,
Eight oozing creatures,
Seven lone Survivors,
Six zombie crows,
FIVE UNDEAD SHEEP!
Four shambling pus bags,
Three fresh corpses,
Two zombie lords,
And a zombie in a pear tree.
AND A ZOMBIE IN A PEAR TREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
wOw. Who is this Daniel Davis and would he mind if one subsituted VOLES for SHEEP?
From: [identity profile] glassstrider.livejournal.com
I assume he is a writer of quality role-playing games; the Eden Studios stuff that I've seen is uniformly great.
From: [identity profile] hellison.livejournal.com
So much ZOMBIE VOLE for this!

I will now spend the rest of the day trying not to shout FIIIIVE UNDEAD SHEEEEEP

*applauds mightily*
From: [identity profile] kimkali.livejournal.com
I will now spend the rest of the day trying not to shout FIIIIVE UNDEAD SHEEEEEP

Me too

~needs a zombie icon~
From: [identity profile] thesme-01.livejournal.com
Feel free to steal zombie vole, or I could do an angelina zombie for you if you wish?
From: [identity profile] glassstrider.livejournal.com
I shall hold off until christmas, although if I am forced to participate in such singings, it shall be used!
From: [identity profile] hellison.livejournal.com
On the plus side it has finally stopped me humming "fa lalalala la la la BRAINZ", which has been driving me mad all day ;p

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