Thought for the Day

[hellison]

Well, the question asking idea (previous post) did turn out Interesting as expected, tho some of the directions it took were quite unexpected e.g. discussion of one's preferences for/against the... more hirsute Gentleman's Area.
But thank you all for trying (very trying, in some cases).

One question, however, threw me completely and also caused me to Think; littlebluefish asked "What do you really love about yourself?". And I couldn't answer.
Eventually I did think of something (my ability to be independent, which is incredibly important to me) but it took quite a while and I still haven't come up with anything else - which set me wondering why it was so difficult.
Ask me for a list of things I like and I could manage, things I don't like and you'd be here all day, but 'love'? I don't think I've ever been asked to think of myself in those terms before, and it seems it never occurred to me to do it for myself ;p

Then I wondered if it's just me? Or is it a wider thing - are we not encouraged to love ourselves enough (at the risk of sounding a bit selfhelp/twee there)? And if not, why not?

So! Today's question for the class; more of a youyou than a meme for once ;)

What do you really love about yourself?

Comments

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

Ah, there's plenty I like about myself but love - I dunno, that would feel a bit narcissistic to me. I just don't feel that strongly about myself...

[hellison.livejournal.com]

That was my initial reation too - and it took a long time to come up with anything about myself I actually felt strongly about - but if you can love things about other people why NOT yourself?
Why should it feel wrong to do so?

(not demanding answers here btw, more just wondering out loud!)

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

I just don't think we're wired that way. I dunno, maybe some people are! I dunno that I 'love' certain things about people, I'd like an aspect, but love them as a whole, if that makes sense?

[hellison.livejournal.com]

It does make sense yes ;) I think it was the 'love' part that threw me mostly!

It just struck me that if I'd been asked about other people (eg the 'what do you envy about me' type memes) I could have come up with plenty of things right away, but couldn't come up with anything about myself.
I don't know if its to do with wiring, but we're certainly not... trained, (or maybe taught is better?) to see ourselves that way I think. If *that* makes any sense.

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

We're probably not taught to love ourselves, no. We're not taught to love others though either, are we? It's something that comes naturally?

[hellison.livejournal.com]

True, but then we're not born with the feeling that saying what we love about ourselves is narcissitic either, that must come from somewhere.

Of course it could be I'm overthinking the whole thing (cos that wouldn't be a first!), it is reassuring to know it's not just me either ;)

[kelemvor.livejournal.com]

I know that in interviews and similar, I find it easier to think about weaknesses than strengths. Possibly this is because I have to work around the former, but not the latter.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

I can see how that can happen with work related stuff. Tho it's been so long since I had an interview I'm not sure how I'd answer on either; mostly it would depend on what the job required I'd imagine.

You didn't answer the actual question tho!

[kelemvor.livejournal.com]

I love my ability to evade questions!

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Touche!

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Classy AND sneaky! Nicely done ;p

[fragglechick.livejournal.com]

Good question, like yourself I can think of things that I LIKE about myself, and could write a book on the things I dislike, but love...

I guess I could say that I love my open-mindedness. It's stood me in good stead over the years...

[hellison.livejournal.com]

I am actually quite relieved in a way that I'm not the only one that finds this difficult ;)
I could happily list all day things I love about other people, but when it comes to myself, I'm stumped.

That's a good one tho, it's not always easy to keep an open mind but a very valuable trait to possess.

[fragglechick.livejournal.com]

I think I have to grudgingly give kudos to my mother (*shudder*) for that one, as my father is the most judgemental man in existence, whereas I don't actually remember my mother being judgemental much. Or at all, when I think about it. I'm sure she was - I think we all are a little, but just not often enough for it to leave a trace in my memory.

At first I used to wonder if it was a flaw. Things that really seem to shock and/or offend friends really don't matter a great deal to me either way, so perhaps what I think is open-mindedness is actually just indifference... Has the same effect I guess, and I don't need to work at it like I might the former. :)

[hellison.livejournal.com]

The results are the same either way, which is probably the important thing ;p

Tho I do notice you're instantly playing down the thing you say you love most about yourself - something I do too, tho I try to stop if I catch myself doing it these days (similar to running down achievements when complimented with 'oh it wasn't that hard' or 'oh if i could do it anyone could' etc. but that's possibly a different post ;p)

[malvino.livejournal.com]

I love just about everything about myself (which is one of the things I love about me), but that doesn't mean I love other people less for it, I love them too (which is something else about me that I love), I just have a lot of love to go around (which is another of the things about me that I love).

[hellison.livejournal.com]

What a lovely answer ;p There's certainly a lot there to love!

[being-here.livejournal.com]

I love your modesty

[malvino.livejournal.com]

At least I'm honest :P

[being-here.livejournal.com]

I know.

I love that about you too

:D

[malvino.livejournal.com]

:D

[dasquian.livejournal.com]

You're not kidding, this *is* hard.

Anything I could come up with just makes me sound like a self-absorbed prick when phrased "I love that I...", or that I'm lording it over other people.

I guess... I love that I have ended up in a career I am genuinely passionate about. I'm not sure there's anything I love about my personality that aren't mitigated by contigent downsides.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

It's harder than you'd think, isn't it? Maybe we all need more practice ;p

[malvino.livejournal.com]

Not me (and that's something else I love about me, I've already come to terms with loving myself) :)






this could get grating after a while :P

[dasquian.livejournal.com]

A while, eh? ;p

[malvino.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm quite patient and thing don't tend to bug me until they get really anal (which is one of the things I love about me).

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

I love you for your photographic creativity.

*loves*

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Heh, I did actually mean to put 'except Malvino' on the end of that comment ;)

And pfft, i have brothers, this is nothing

[ghost-cre.livejournal.com]

I love that I haven't killed myself yet.

[ghost-cre.livejournal.com]

Damn the < / livejournal > didn't appear :P

[hellison.livejournal.com]

WOE!!!

[ghost-cre.livejournal.com]

But if we're going to be sensible (ignoring Malvino's responses too ;):

I'd have to say ...

...

...

...

...

I love that I can up and go around the world and not feel scared/nervous/anxious. My freedom and my ability to enact on that freedom is perhaps the number one thing that I love about myself.

[malvino.livejournal.com]

Ha, my comments are sensible.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

and I love that about you ;p

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Heh, don't mind him, he's enjoying himself ;p

But good for you! and when are you coming back to THIS part of the world so we can go horseriding and have a sleep over and drink alcopops and talk about boys??

[being-here.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's just you.

I can think about things in my life I love (I love my new job, and I love the freedom I have at the moment). I can easily think about things I'm proud of with myself and things and traits I admire in myself. I also think I have some stunning good points - but to say 'love' about them feels wrong. I think if I really liked any physical attribute of mine I could say I loved it - but to say that I loved a personality trait or my intelligence or whatever seems like the wrong word. I would probably have the same issue with talking about other people - for example I love your hair and your smile; I admire your independence and passion for life... Of course I love you - but again that's different.

Does that make any sense?

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Yes it does make sense! I do think maybe 'love' isn't quite the right word to use in this context, but I also think we could all [1] do with a bit more practice in saying things we do like/admire in ourselves. I know I could.

[1] Except malvino (which is one of the things I love about him ;p)

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

MISUSE OF THE WORD 'LOVE' ERROR

I am proud of my ability to do my job, but I don't want to have a serious relationship with it.

I also love my seriousness, and my ability not to be distracted by childish things.

:|

[hellison.livejournal.com]

I've kind of come to that conclusion myself!

You are so very serious, you deserve a prize

Here, have an orange ;p

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

uh uh uh uh uh HUH HUNNNGH HUNNNGH HUNNGH uh uh uh wap

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

I really love all the different things that malvino loves about himself!!

!

[hellison.livejournal.com]

I am terrible at taking compliments, I have to try v. hard to just say 'thank you' and not try and deflect them or just run away in embarrassment!

And yeah, asking other people what they love about you always seems like either fishing or attention seeking... but OTOH, the answers can do wonders for you ;) After all if we can't tell *ourselves* we're Great, why not let people who think we are tell us?

ps You are Great ;)