Relationship Advice from Nuns

[hellison]

When we were in ... 3rd year I think, we got sent to Sr. Benedict, who was a quiet wee nun with no eyebrows, not long retired from many years of nunning out in Africa, for Education In Personal Relationships.
This mostly involved Sr. B., showing us her Book with Diagrams of the Reproductive Organs. She used to flick VERY QUICKLY past the male page, presumably lest we be corrupted by the drawings

She also had to give us Advice on Dealing with Boys, but, given her decades abroad, she was a bit out of touch there. Her main three points were -

1. If you MUST sit on a boy's knee, put a Telephone directory down first.
Where one was meant to procure this from at short notice, I'm not sure, but she was a big one for Planning Ahead. Which leads to ...

2. Always Carry A Hat Pin.
Thus, if despite the safety barrier of the phone book, the Young Man gets "Upset" (we *think* she meant Aroused here), you can Defend Yourself. I always reckoned he'd be a hell of a lot more Upset AFTER being stabbed with a hat pin than before...

and

3. Never wear Black Patent shoes with a Skirt
because boys can look at your feet and see what colour your knickers are! I have, in the intervening years, yet to come across a boy who had ever heard of this.


Tho these pale somewhat against the excellence of the advice thesme_01 was given when about to go to university. Which was

4. If the Lights go out at Party (which Evil Boys will organise by not putting their shillings in the meter!), jump on the nearest table and yell "I'm a Catholic, nobody Touch me!"

I would have LOVED to have seen that one in action...

Comments

[mivvvv.livejournal.com]

What do Catholic boys get told?

[hellison.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure. I think they were mostly too busy getting beaten by the Christian Brothers to be told much. Women are EVIL I think formed the basis of it :p

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

Mr Hoor went to a school run by priests. During sex ed they'd give the boys lollipops if they got through the lesson without laughing.

Mr Hoor's brother was brought into a priests bedroom to discuss masturbation.

[mollydot.livejournal.com]

Girls are only after one thing and you have to be strong?

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

"You should be a Catholic cos cleverer people than you were Catholic'

What, like Hitler?

[adelpha.livejournal.com]

Possibly where to get a phone book from? Or what to do when you have a woman pinning you down with one?

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Rofl, I never quite thought of it from the guy's point of view before, but a woman bearing down on you with a phone book could be quite daunting. And that's before she brandishes the hat pin...

[adelpha.livejournal.com]

Or possibly to rmind them to kneel around the table and look up when the lights go out, so they get a good view up the skirt when they come back on? ;)

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

DON'T. WANK.