It's the little things

[hellison]

What Was Meant to Happen today -

get up, go to work, go to horse, wait for D. to deliver horsebox on loan for weekend, go for nice relaxing hack, come home, sofa/katy/bath, early night.

What Actually Happened -

woke up with headache, but thought it was saturday, yay! went back to sleep
Woke up again, realised it was not saturday, thought it was friday, still some yay! went back to sleep
Woke up again, realised not only was it THURSDAY it was now 10:15. No yay. Curse. Still had headache.
Got to work. bored. Realised it was also thipe's birthday; set about making Suitable Lovely B'day card, which is much more fun than working.
Phone D. to see if he is still bringing horse box to stables this evening, he is '95% certain'. Figure this means 'no' but, hack seems better than pilates so go to stables after work anyway; still have headache.
Discover bale of hay which was neatly stacked away last night now pulled down and strewn all over aisle outside stable. Curse profusely at lazy shites who cannot be arsed picking mess their horses make; pick up mess.
Start on stable. Discover, by means of inadvertent prodding with shavings fork, RODENT.
FLEEE FLEE STABLE FLEE. Wait outside in huge sulk for J to arrive and finish stable (she deals with rodents, i deal with spiders; we have a System).

Fetch horses from field, with added yelling at other horses who will not GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY.
Commence grooming/tacking. Somehow during this, horse tangles own leg in reins (HOW? HOW??). Thankfully, does not panic. Free horse while cursing. Finish tacking up. Realise breastplate is on backwards. Curse more. Fuck it.
Get on horse, go for hack - this bit actually went well!
Practise Forward Seat. Ankle OUCH, but used to that now. Return to stables just as it gets dark & dismount in outdoor arena due to sore ankle ( a softer surface than concrete yard for landing). Remove coat & hat so can take body protector off.
Phone rings! Take off gloves and let go of horse to answer phone. Horse wanders off. Talk on phone, look up to see HORSE GETTING DOWN TO ROLL IN FULL TACK.
Yell a lot, deafen person on phone, drop phone (and everything else), run at horse, still yelling. Horse gets up, then tries to run off with dangling reins. Stop yelling, speak Soothingly. Catch horse. Resume yelling.
Get J to hold horse, pick up phone, coat, stick, hat, body protector, take horse to stable.
Untack (with much cursing) & feed horse, leave. Realise half way home did not pick up gloves. Curse.
Go to tesco BUY KATY (also food).
Get home (by now it is almost 11pm), put katy in fridge. Notice freezer door is not shut. Open worriedly. Freezer totally iced up, everything in freezer covered in ice. Curse.
Remove everything from freezer and dump in sink. Turn freezer off. Open katy. Start drinking while hacking at ice. DRINK MOAR HACK MORE DRINK MOAR HACK HACK HACK.

Now it is...3.45am, am a tad drunk, freezer is finally free of ice. Kitchen floor is soaked. Everything still in sink. I no longer care, it is still not the weekend. Am going to bed.
Still have headache.

How you doin'?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

er. better than you?

AND TOTALLY NOT LAUGHING. MUCH

DRINK MOAR HACK MORE DRINK MOAR HACK HACK HACK.

this part is impressive! i imagine you wild-eyed with Romantical Hair and wielding Implements!

[hellison.livejournal.com]

After a couple of bottles of Katy, that's pretty much what was happening!

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Me too! So far, I am still in bed ;)

[being-here.livejournal.com]

Truly - you a a lady of style and sophistication! (DRINKHACKDRINKHACK)

[hellison.livejournal.com]

GIven that I was in an hormone-induced rage before I even got as far as the stables, I shall leave it to you to imagine the ... vigour of my attack on the freezer!

[kimkali.livejournal.com]

Can I come spend a day with you sometime? I won't do anything. Just watch. Maybe take pictures, & pass you opened cider.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

You can come visit any time, tho is isn't always quite this exciting ;p and provided you don't mind being sworn at profusely!!

[kimkali.livejournal.com]

That sounds spiffing! We can rant about politics & cider & them bluies & how awesome are ponies & would a horn really actually improve them in any way at all except oh but of course!

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Awesome!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

i should note that hellison even swears at the GPS in her car. for telling her things she already knows. because it is totally a sentient being and stuff...

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

hm, NOT A GOOD EVENING THEN.
What did you use to hack at the freezer?

Anyway, my evening started ok and ended shitly. I have decided that I am going to deal with this by erasing it from my mind and forgetting it ever happened.

LALALALALA BIRDS

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Not really. And given I was on the verge of RAGE ATTACK before any of this even happened... (remember the Night Before Orkney, when the laptop nearly went out the window? Like that ;p)

used a wooden stirrer thing and a knife SCRAPE SCRAPE HACK HACK DRINK DRINK

[thipe.livejournal.com]

Now it is...3.45am, am a tad drunk, freezer is finally free of ice.

I assume the difficulty was in hacking around the cider covered tonkers (tonkcicles?) that you can no longer keep under your bed as they arise suspicion...

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

Ah, the tonkcicles. They take up so much room in the freezer and yet they really smell when they defrost. Tis a real conundrum.


we're dead

[thipe.livejournal.com]

I guess that you could repickle them in cider in this kind of emergency

so very dead

[thesme-01.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I think you would not be able to prevent some deterioration, sadly.


see you on the other side

[thipe.livejournal.com]

I suspect the only solution would be to start luring in men off the street to try out the chopper

I'm not sure we'll even make it there :/

[hellison.livejournal.com]

...

I am TORN - you should both be totally DEAD TO ME but
A. Tonkcicles is an incredible word
B. I want that chopper. FOR CIGARS.

[thipe.livejournal.com]

It's the medusa's heads that make it o so special

[kimkali.livejournal.com]

Looked up tonkers & still confused... strong boobs? Hmm. I think no.

[thipe.livejournal.com]

I think they're a small kind of rodent, though that still doesn't explain why the whoopsie club night nearby is called Tonker :/

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

I'm full of RAGE but it's passing. I had a naice luncheon with Mrs Themsmington!

[mollydot.livejournal.com]

Argh! Hope yesterday was much better.