Relationship Advice from Nuns

[hellison]

When we were in ... 3rd year I think, we got sent to Sr. Benedict, who was a quiet wee nun with no eyebrows, not long retired from many years of nunning out in Africa, for Education In Personal Relationships.
This mostly involved Sr. B., showing us her Book with Diagrams of the Reproductive Organs. She used to flick VERY QUICKLY past the male page, presumably lest we be corrupted by the drawings

She also had to give us Advice on Dealing with Boys, but, given her decades abroad, she was a bit out of touch there. Her main three points were -

1. If you MUST sit on a boy's knee, put a Telephone directory down first.
Where one was meant to procure this from at short notice, I'm not sure, but she was a big one for Planning Ahead. Which leads to ...

2. Always Carry A Hat Pin.
Thus, if despite the safety barrier of the phone book, the Young Man gets "Upset" (we *think* she meant Aroused here), you can Defend Yourself. I always reckoned he'd be a hell of a lot more Upset AFTER being stabbed with a hat pin than before...

and

3. Never wear Black Patent shoes with a Skirt
because boys can look at your feet and see what colour your knickers are! I have, in the intervening years, yet to come across a boy who had ever heard of this.


Tho these pale somewhat against the excellence of the advice thesme_01 was given when about to go to university. Which was

4. If the Lights go out at Party (which Evil Boys will organise by not putting their shillings in the meter!), jump on the nearest table and yell "I'm a Catholic, nobody Touch me!"

I would have LOVED to have seen that one in action...

Comments

[tyrell.livejournal.com]

the Lights go out at Party (which Evil Boys will organise by not putting their shillings in the meter!), jump on the nearest table and yell "I'm a Catholic, nobody Touch me!"

Holy living crap.

This explains so very much about my Irish Catholic mother and her being taught by evil nuns.

[gnillot.livejournal.com]

So unfair. Growing up as a Catholic in Northern Ireland is obviously much more fun than growing up a protestant in Sweden. :(

I wanted amusing relationship advice as well, damn it! All I got was a blushing 19 year old janitor boy who got roped into doing our 7th form science classes (including sex ed) when the teacher left :/

[being-here.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahahaha. Nuns are crazed, aren't they?

[mivvvv.livejournal.com]

What do Catholic boys get told?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

aha! AHA! the mystery of your Squintness is solved! clearly, all those years of carting a telephone directory round under one arm Just In Case have caused you to develop a slope!

[hieronymousmosh.livejournal.com]

I'm a Catholic, nobody Touch me!

!! This was used on me - by a *boy*. And it worked! I have no idea what one says to "I'm Catholic" when it's a reason for not fooling around. No tables were jumped on, though :(