Relationship Advice from Nuns
Nov. 8th, 2007 02:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hellisonWhen we were in ... 3rd year I think, we got sent to Sr. Benedict, who was a quiet wee nun with no eyebrows, not long retired from many years of nunning out in Africa, for Education In Personal Relationships.
This mostly involved Sr. B., showing us her Book with Diagrams of the Reproductive Organs. She used to flick VERY QUICKLY past the male page, presumably lest we be corrupted by the drawings
She also had to give us Advice on Dealing with Boys, but, given her decades abroad, she was a bit out of touch there. Her main three points were -
1. If you MUST sit on a boy's knee, put a Telephone directory down first.
Where one was meant to procure this from at short notice, I'm not sure, but she was a big one for Planning Ahead. Which leads to ...
2. Always Carry A Hat Pin.
Thus, if despite the safety barrier of the phone book, the Young Man gets "Upset" (we *think* she meant Aroused here), you can Defend Yourself. I always reckoned he'd be a hell of a lot more Upset AFTER being stabbed with a hat pin than before...
and
3. Never wear Black Patent shoes with a Skirt
because boys can look at your feet and see what colour your knickers are! I have, in the intervening years, yet to come across a boy who had ever heard of this.
Tho these pale somewhat against the excellence of the advice![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thesme_01 was given when about to go to university. Which was
4. If the Lights go out at Party (which Evil Boys will organise by not putting their shillings in the meter!), jump on the nearest table and yell "I'm a Catholic, nobody Touch me!"
I would have LOVED to have seen that one in action...
This mostly involved Sr. B., showing us her Book with Diagrams of the Reproductive Organs. She used to flick VERY QUICKLY past the male page, presumably lest we be corrupted by the drawings
She also had to give us Advice on Dealing with Boys, but, given her decades abroad, she was a bit out of touch there. Her main three points were -
1. If you MUST sit on a boy's knee, put a Telephone directory down first.
Where one was meant to procure this from at short notice, I'm not sure, but she was a big one for Planning Ahead. Which leads to ...
2. Always Carry A Hat Pin.
Thus, if despite the safety barrier of the phone book, the Young Man gets "Upset" (we *think* she meant Aroused here), you can Defend Yourself. I always reckoned he'd be a hell of a lot more Upset AFTER being stabbed with a hat pin than before...
and
3. Never wear Black Patent shoes with a Skirt
because boys can look at your feet and see what colour your knickers are! I have, in the intervening years, yet to come across a boy who had ever heard of this.
Tho these pale somewhat against the excellence of the advice
thesme_01 was given when about to go to university. Which was 4. If the Lights go out at Party (which Evil Boys will organise by not putting their shillings in the meter!), jump on the nearest table and yell "I'm a Catholic, nobody Touch me!"
I would have LOVED to have seen that one in action...
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-08 03:33 pm (UTC)I wanted amusing relationship advice as well, damn it! All I got was a blushing 19 year old janitor boy who got roped into doing our 7th form science classes (including sex ed) when the teacher left :/
no subject
Date: 2007-11-08 04:06 pm (UTC)Things got less amusing the following year when we had the Tragic Mrs E for EPR. She started out as a nun, left, was Unhappy, then met a Nice Man, got married and was Very Happy for 2 years til he died suddenly.
When she came back they picked HER to teach us all about Love and Marriage. Which mostly consisted of weekly sessions of her bravely starting out, then breaking down in tears and us awkwardly not having a CLUE what to do (we were only 15!).
And people wonder why I think nuns are evil...