Yet another leg rant (just when you thought it was safe...)

[hellison]

Dear Ankle

You have had 15 months now. I understand being broken then screwed back together was a traumatic and upsetting experience, but I feel, and I say this in your - indeed OUR - best interests, that it is high time you GOT THE FUCK OVER IT and started actually working properly. Or indeed at all.
I don't think it is unreasonable to expect you to cope with walking the entire kilometre [1] from the train station to work AND back again. In fact, if you manage the getting there, the getting back is kind of essential.
True, this time you managed without the stabbing-pains-with-every-step you treated me to last time I attempted this foolhardy trek, however the gain there is somewhat negated by the fact that after getting home and sitting down for half an hour I have to USE THE FUCKING CRUTCH to get to the kitchen from the sofa. To find the Codine (looooovely codine). AND STILL YOU ACHE.
Stupid fucking leg. If it wasn't for the codine, you'd be for the chop.

No love,
me

If anyone wants me, I'll be sulking on the sofa, alternately staring blankly into space (yay codine!) and reading yet MORE Twilight wank . Probably just as well I didn't buy a weekly ticket.

[1] i measured it on google maps ;p

Comments

[kimkali.livejournal.com]

Okay so what IS Twightlight? I know it is a book, and I think there are vampires in it, but that is all I know. Other than people seem to be wanking, in various ways, over it.

My foot throbbed on the plane. As did my skull in several places. Why cannae things just HEAL?!? Attention seeking body parts! They get fondled by nurses once and that is all they ever want to do!

Your prose IS beautiful.

[hellison.livejournal.com]

It is a series, there are 4 of them, tho I have only read the first, I have come close enough to reading the rest thro the internet wonder that is cleolinda's recaps (http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/tag/twilight)

It is the delightful tale of an angsty emo teen girl who moves to a small town and falls in love with a SPARKLY telepathic vampire. Who stalks her, and breaks into her BEDROOM to watch her sleep, which is ok because it is ROMANTIC and EPIC LUV and he cannot her her thoughts becuas she is A SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE.
They end up (after more books and werewolves and angst and very little plot) getting married, ahving pillowbiting sex and she gets pregnant with a vampire death baby that her loving husband CHEWS OUT OF HER. Then she becomes a Beautiful SPARKLING vampire too and they live happily ever after with the freaky vampire deathbaby and teh werewolf boy who previously loved the girl but BONDED with the baby as it was born chewed out and will be its Soul Mate. Once it's legal... but its ok, because it is TWU WUV too.

The first one is ... actually quite readable ina total trash kind of way; the last one i am tempted to read for the pure cracktasticness of the deathbaby. And the fans are totally obsessive, hence there is always wank, which is way more entertaining than the books ;p

Bodies are stupid attention grabbing things, which is why the foot faces The Chop, and exchange for a Nice Plastic ONe if it doesn't behave *is stern*

[gnillot.livejournal.com]

That summary was beautiful! Especially as I could HEAR you reading it out loud in my head :p

[hellison.livejournal.com]

Heh, Twilight (and ensuing fan draaamas) had eaten my soul lately. It's SO bad - and disturbingly creepy in places - but i can't tear myself away ;p

[kimkali.livejournal.com]

OMG I am so reading that!
OR
You could continue your epic summaries of utter utter literary-orgasmic wibblesome awsome fantasticness!!!!!!

~looks hopeful~

I am SURE writing this sort of thing helps your foot.

[thipe.livejournal.com]

I LOVE MY BIL^H^H^HDEATHBABY